We prefer to refer to couples therapy as couples guidance or counseling. The reason being that many people view therapy as something you're supposed to get when you or your relationship need fixing. That, anyway, is how we felt about it when we really needed it!
Nothing could be further from the truth! Unfortunately our society and culture have us making up stories about couples therapy..Many of us believe that, just like we need a medical doctor to heal or fix our sick and broken bodies we also need a therapist to heal or fix our broken minds, hearts and souls.
So here's what you need to get. When it comes to doing long-term relationships, marriage or being a couple nobody does it perfectly, In fact for most of us (if not all of us!) it's mostly or at least sometimes messy, complicated, difficult, hurtful and challenging. It is probably one of life's biggest challenges; to be in love, as a couple together, and it is a challenge that all of us sometimes feel we are failing at or will never be able to get right or be good at..
This is why we like to redefine couples therapy as guidance. Saying you can have an awesome relationship after experiencing trouble, issues, disagreements etc. without guidance (or couples therapy if you like) is like saying you can explore unknown territory without a map or a compass or saying you can fix your car without the right set of tools or the help of a mechanic.
If you want to get something back to its original state (like a broken car) or if you want to get better at something (like losing weight, getting fit or running a marathon) you need expert advice and then you need to follow that advice, use that toolbox or do that work.
It's the same for your relationship. We learned that the hard way. If you feel you are ready to give up and/or you want to do it better you need couples therapy, you need guidance and advice and you need to start following the advice.
If you do this it does not mean there is anything wrong with you! In fact, you are way ahead of most other couples. You are not sick or broken or crazy! You are self-aware, longing for healing and you want the best for your relationship! You want to feel alive and you want to be joyful! You are human!
So here are the questions you need to ask yourself before signing up for couples therapy (and some clues to the answers if you can't guess already!):
Do you believe that you, your partner and your relationship deserve only the best and if there is a form of couples therapy that can give this to you, you will do the work that is required?
Are you ready for couples therapy that will make you feel safe,again in the space between you and your partner?
Are you ready to learn a new way of being and connecting without blaming, shaming and criticizing yourself or your partner?
Are you willing to learn more about yourself, your partner and what you each bring to the space-between?
Would you like to bust some myths about couples therapy and train your brain (and therefore your heart, mind and soul) a new way to love? A way that will get you the love you want?
Do you want couples therapy..scratch that! - guidance, the tools and the know-how to use the tools to give you a chance at building an awesome relationship, being fully alive, joyful, content, curious, growing and passionate?
Are you ready for a new adventure that will start out rough and even difficult (as you start doing the work and exercising new muscles) but that will present you with an experience of a lifetime and ultimately the journey of a lifetime?
If you answered YES to any of the above you are where we were when we decided not to get divorced despite heartache, disappointment, treachery deceit, despair and what looked like impossible obstacles preventing us from living the dream we always had for our relationship.
Now we live it.
You can too.
You CAN get where you want to be.
You can even get to where you can't imagine right now.
You can also contact us to set up a free online session to discuss the different options to help you build your awesome marriage: