It's not easy to find the right marriage therapist. We know. We've been there! This is what happened, how we felt, what we went through and what we recommend based on our experience. We think you will identify with a lot of what we share here...
Fred's view (the husband):
"I remember when we started looking around for a marriage therapist. Firstly I was scared of the word "therapy"; it's a term that society has stigmatised. You feel like there is something major wrong with you or your marriage if you start looking around for a marriage therapist.
My second concern was that a marriage therapist would choose sides. We would tell our story and the therapist would lay down the law so to speak; telling me everything I was doing wrong and how I will have to change in order for our marriage to work.
Quite frankly (and i think many or most men share this!) I didn't want to go to a bunch of sessions wasting my time on psycho-babble and have someone analyse my marriage, telling what was wrong!
What I did find when I eventually found an Imago marriage therapist:
The first thing I realised was that we weren't alone and the stuff that bothered us was the stuff that got a lot of other couples stuck too. We weren't sick or crazy and we didn't need fixing. We wanted to get better at our marriage and we didn't know how. That's all! The therapist didn't judge us, didn't take sides and didn't bore us with a lot of psycho mumbo-jumbo; all we got was practical tools we could use to make things better. We used the tools and as we practised more and more our marriage transformed.
Tildie's view (the wife):
"I sought advice from everywhere; friends, family and so-called experts. I read expert views and I also called a few people. Some, after listening to our story, said we were "incompatible" and it would be better if we separated.
It's not what I wanted to do but hearing it from other people certainly made me think that divorce or separation could be the the only option left! What I was hoping for was a marriage therapist that was interested in saving our marriage.
I was hoping I could meet a marriage therapist that could show us how to be better at this thing we call love, to better understand each other and to really love each other without losing who we are. I didn't want to create more issues; I wanted to resolve the issues and live the dream I always had for our marriage.
What I got when I eventually found an Imago marriage therapist:
I got all I hoped for and more! I learned that our incompatibility was the perfect breeding ground for an awesome marriage and we learned how to use our differences (and they are big differences, believe me!) for a joyfully alive marriage adventure. Instead of blaming, shaming and criticizing we learned a new innovative method to not only survive but thrive in or marriage"
Since we saved our marriage we have been living our very own adventure. Our relationship is a journey, a discovery, full of fun, curiousness and learning and a safe place where we meet each other to connect and re-connect.
We have had the privilege to share these tools with other couples and we have seen the same results.
Having become certified Imago marriage therapists, we believe we have what it takes to guide you on your marriage adventure and show you that you can also get the love you want.