All couples, at some or other point in their relationship, need relationship help with relationship problems. It's a given. No one gets an education on how to do relationship or marriage well. We all just dive in and make the best of it. And even at the best of times it's messy!
So don't despair or feel shame or regret. To have problems and seek relationship help are common (although your own story is unique and different from everyone else).
Here are the relation help we can offer in four basic (but not easy) steps:
(Oh, and by the way we give you these steps, because we, like everybody else, had to deal with our own stuff and "problems" and this helped us get better. BIG TIME!)
Think of your relationship problems as opportunities. If you start working on the stuff you believe are problems with this mindset you will quickly learn something new and start doing relationships better much quicker!
As we have already pointed out, all of us need relationship help. It is not something to be ashamed of and it is not something to try and avoid. No one was taught how to do relationships or marriage and no one will ever do it perfectly. And why should we? A relationship is special, precious and unique to the two people that make up the relationship. Only the two of you can figure it out in your unique way.
That's why we believe that your relationship problems is like a fork in the road on a great adventure you are having with a signpost pointing in both directions. Let's say you didn't plan for it and you didn't expect it. You thought the road would simply go straight and you would have a smooth ride.
You can't ignore it though or you might get lost. You can't just pick a direction or the same will happen. What you need is a map to help you show the way. You need relationship help.
Now you can ignore your "problems" or see them as an opportunity to have a great adventure. Just like you need a map to show you the way and when you take the right path it leads to new discoveries and adventures, you also need relationship help that will help you redefine your problems and use them to build an awesome relationship.
The choice is yours.
Your partner is the one that needs all the relationship help right? Or is it you?
One thing you should try not to do is lay blame, find out who is right or wrong and who should be doing what or who should be doing less and who should be doing more.
We all do this of course. And that's why we need something else. Something new. Relationship help that help us do it differently this time.
Here's another way to look at this:
You are both partners on this journey. If you want to use this opportunity your "problems" present, you have to do it together without blame, shame and criticism.
Keep on blaming, shaming, and criticizing and you will end up doing much more of that in the divorce court or after you broke up. For the rest of your life.
You and your partner are in this together no matter who did what or what mistake was made or how badly you want to be the innocent party (or the guilty party!). If you want to move forward and have an awesome relationship, then you need to take your partner along with you. You are in this together.
If anyone offers you relationship help that sounds like a quick fix, run away as far and as quick as you can. Your relationship didn't happen overnight. You are not a couple because of what happened yesterday. You are not the person you are , love the way you do, and relate the way you do because you were born yesterday...
That's why it's important to see your problems as opportunities and embrace them. Your problems, issues, disagreements and "fights" won't get solved overnight or with a quick fix. With the right relationship help though, it will dissolve...
And if you follow the map we want to show you, you will start welcoming those "problems" because this time you will dance a different dance. Not the quick, angry, sad, depressing, win-at-all-costs, as quickly as possible dance that leaves you alone on the dance floor but a slow, mesmerizing, magical dance that will grow your relationship!
You, as a couple will have to work hard...work slow...and work deep.
Most couples (that includes us when we were ready to call it quits!) think if they are incompatible it's over. Most of us believe this cultural myth that we somehow have to "find the right fit" or that we we have to be compatible in order to have a fantastic marriage adventure.
This is simply not true!
In fact, if you want to believe a oft-used saying believe this one: "Opposites attract!"
As you follow the relationship help system we have for you, you will start making this mind shift.
Hear this: Incompatibility is the grounds for marriage. Whatever you believe you have found the right fit and it is at this very moment, when you start believing that you are so different and you might as well give up that you should do a double take!
You are together because you are so different, because you are "incompatible". It is an invitation to become fully alive and whole again.
What we have for you works. It works for us. It works for thousands of couples worldwide. It works if you do.
The four very basic steps described above is only the beginning. If you are serious about doing marriage and relationship better, then we have the right stuff for you!