Does marriage counseling work?

Yes, it does! That's the short answer to "Does marriage counseling work?".

We will get to some research, evidence-backed facts, statistics and reports real soon, I promise!

(If you want to jump to the research facts right now, CLICK HERE!)

But first, what do other people SAY? That is after all where most of it look for answers first... 

"Yes" is probably also the answer you get from friends, acquaintances, family members or some random couple you meet at a party who seems to be totally content with married life or couple-hood and are happy to endorse the concept of marriage counseling.

They most likely have had relationship issues in the past and seem to have resolved this with marriage counseling. They usually recommend it highly...

But let's get real!

There are also those - probably the divorced individuals or people still stuck in an unhappy marriage or relationship - that will answer "No" after trying couples therapy.

So, does marriage counseling work or not?

It probably goes without saying....

Those whose marriages and relationships have survived, grown and actually thrived after doing it will answer in the positive.

Those who've tried it and are divorced or still in unhappy relationships will not agree.

So what is working for some and not for others?!

Does marriage counseling work? This is what we think...

We are a couple who say "Yes". 

Every couple who has this positive view will have their own story. So do we. You can read our story here (LINK TO ABOUT US?).  

In short, we were seriously considering divorce around 2012 after many setbacks in our relationship. Marriage counseling got us on a path of recovery. Now we are thriving.

It was so empowering that we decided to help other couples do the same.

Yes, we believe it works.

We have also seen it work for many other couples. Couples we have helped and couples helped by other guides and coaches, via different models and theories and all across the world.

Why some say NO!

So, let's be real because that is what we try to be on here. 

Yes, we have also seen marriage counseling not work. For friends, for family, for couples we have tried to help. 

We will share why we think it works for some and not for others. First, an important disclaimer:

If it doesn't or haven't worked for you it doesn't mean you have failed or not tried hard enough or didn't commit, or didn't persist or didn't do the work. There can be many other reasons. 

So when we share why we believe it works, we are not judging anyone. Every couple's story is unique and if your relationship didn't work or counseling didn't work for you there could be many good and valid reasons for that. No one has the right to judge you for that.

Why does marriage counseling work? 

There a few reasons and the following are the most common ones. They all combine to play a crucial role (and this is what the research says, not only us!):

• Both parties are open to change
• Both parties commit to the process
• Both parties are patient
• Both parties work hard
• Both parties keep using the new process and tools and keep working hard

That is it in a nutshell. It doesn't look like much but it is! This is what brings about positive results.

What does the research say?

Marriage counseling, also known as couples therapy, has been a subject of extensive research and academic discussion.

Here are some key findings and statistics related to the question, “does marriage counseling work?”

(Each finding is followed by number in brackets which corresponds to the list of academic sources at the end of this page)

• Approximately 70-75% of couples who receive marriage counseling report improvement in their relationship. (1)
• Couples who participated in therapy showed significant improvements in relationship satisfaction compared to those who did not. (1)
• Couples therapy not only improves immediate relationship satisfaction but also has lasting effects. (2)
• Couples who attended therapy reported higher levels of satisfaction and lower levels of conflict even years after treatment. (2)
• Studies indicate around 70-90% of couples experience significant improvements in their relationships. (3)
• Marriage counseling is effective across different therapeutic approaches. (6)
• While success rates can vary, many couples report improved communication and relationship satisfaction after therapy. (6)
• Couples counseling improves relationship satisfaction and reduces conflict. (8)
• Various studies focusing on couples therapy conclude that most couples experience significant improvements in relationship satisfaction and communication skills. (9)
• Couples therapy is successful in treating a range of relationship issues, including infidelity, communication problems, and emotional disconnection. (10)
• Therapy can be tailored to the unique needs of each couple. (10)
• Early intervention and ongoing support can lead to sustained improvements in marital satisfaction and stability. (11)
• Couples therapy is successful in improving communication skills and fostering emotional intimacy, and is effective across different therapeutic modalities. (12)
• Marriage counseling fosters empathy, enhances emotional expression, and promotes collaborative problem-solving. (13)
• Couples therapy is effective globally and works in diverse cultural contexts...and its role in preventing relationship breakdown. (14)
• Marriage counseling helps couples to understand relationship dynamics and provides evidence-based strategies for improving relationship satisfaction and reducing conflict. (15)

It is clear from the above that, according to research, marriage counseling does work.

The above is only a snapshot of some of the research undertaken and currently happening. 

So, will marriage counseling work for me? It's the same as asking...

Will this diet program work for me and help me lose weight?

Will this fitness plan work for me and help me get fitter/complete the race/get healthier?

Will these guitar lessons work for me and help me play better? 

The honest answer to these questions and our question, "does marriage counseling work?" is; it depends!

If you commit to your diet, fully trust the process, strictly follow the plan and DO the work, your chances of losing weight are very good.

If you commit to the guitar lessons, fully trust the process, strictly follow the lessons and DO the work, your chances of playing better are very good.

The same is true for marriage counseling. If you commit, trust the process and DO the work (and that counts for you AND your partner) your chances of reaching a stage of your life where your relationship becomes a wonderful adventure you are enjoying every day are very good!

Conclusion

While individual experiences may vary, the overall statistics, research, couples' experience and client feedback suggest that a significant majority of couples benefit from counseling.

Marriage counseling has been shown to work  for many couples. There is a caveat though...

It CAN work IF you work it.

List of Sources:

1. Johnson, S. M., & Whiffen, V. E. (2003). "Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy: An Overview." *Journal of Marital and Family Therapy*.
2. Shadish, W. R., & Baldwin, S. A. (2003). "Meta-analysis of MFT interventions. In D. H. Sprenkle (Ed.), Effectiveness research in marriage and family therapy (pp. 339–370). American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.
3. Snyder, D.K., Castellani, A.M., & Whisman, M.A. (2006)."Current status and future directions in couple therapy". *Annual Review of Psychology*.
4. Halford, W. K., & Lizzio, A. (2011). "The Effectiveness of Relationship Education Programs." *Journal of Family Psychology*.
5. American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT). (2020). "The Effectiveness of Couples Therapy: A Review of the Literature."
6. Gurman, A. S., & Fraenkel, P. (2002). "The History of Couple Therapy: A Millennial Review."
7. Christensen, A., et al. (2004). "Traditional Versus Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy for Significantly and Chronically Distressed Married Couples." *Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology*.
8. Baucom, D. H., et al. (2006). "Cognitive-Behavioral Couple Therapy." *Handbook of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapies*.
9. Lebow, J., Chambers, A., Christensen, A., & Johnson, S. (2012). "Research on the Treatment of Couple Distress." *Journal of Marital and Family Therapy*.
10. Snyder, D. K., Castellani, A. M., & Whisman, M. A. (2006). "Current Status and Future Directions in Couple Therapy." *Annual Review of Psychology*.
11. Bradbury, T. N., & Karney, B. R. (2014). "Understanding and Altering the Longitudinal Course of Marriage." *Journal of Marriage and Family*.
12. Halford, W. K., & Snyder, D. K. (2012). "Universal Processes and Common Factors in Couple Therapy and Relationship Education." *Behavior Therapy*.
13. Benson, L. A., McGinn, M. M., & Christensen, A. (2012). "Common Principles of Couple Therapy." *Behavior Therapy*.
14. Markman, H. J., & Rhoades, G. K. (2012). "Couple Relationship Education and Therapy: An International Perspective." *Family Process*.
15. Gottman, J. M., & Gottman, J. S. (2015). "The Science of Couples and Family Therapy: Behind the Scenes at the 'Love Lab'."